Ever since I was fourteen, I have wanted to live in Australia.
My goal to live here was something I told people about when we first met. It factored into every decision I made. I went into teaching because it was a globally recognised profession. I saved for years to afford my travels around this wonderful country. The day I booked my flights here was one of the happiest days of my life.
I told myself that even if I hated it and things didn’t work out, at least I’d have done it. I’d have followed my dream. I wouldn’t live my life with a nagging ‘what if?’ in the back of my mind. I knew that I could never properly settle in England, or anywhere, until I had lived the Aussie experience.
Well, I’m here now. I’ve done it… so what next?
Honestly, I don’t know.
I love it here, but I miss people from back home. We have a two year visa, but after that who knows. Our life is good, but it was also good back in England. For every pro, there is a con. For every highlight, there is something to miss.
For now, I live to enjoy every day rather than every day being a stepping stone to the goal I am working towards. Home is waiting for us should we choose to go back, or need to when our visa expires, but whilst we are here we live a good, happy life. It’s the life I used to imagine and hope for.
But sometimes I miss Australia being my dream.
There’s something strange about no longer having the thing that drove 99% of your decisions in your life anymore. Sometimes I feel a little lost, like I don’t have an anchor to keep me going. Other times I feel free and like the world is full of possibilities.
There are, of course, other things I want to achieve in my life. I want to have a book published, for starters. I have a wish list of places to visit. I want to plan our wedding. I’d like to start a family one day.
But Australia was my burning dream, the thing that kept me up at night, the thing that I wanted in my core. I’m so proud that I’ve achieved it, but sometimes I miss not having that goal to centre my life around.
Here’s hoping that 2020 brings me a little clarity and a little more understanding about what comes next, but ultimately, I’m just so happy (and proud!) that we made it here.