Happiness Is… the cold side of the pillow


Our relationship with our bed is arguably one of the most important yet undervalued relationships we maintain. Your bed is there for you at the end of every day, waiting to wrap you up into a warm cuddle and hold you in a safe embrace whilst you sleep. Your bed watches over you, through good dreams and bad, and is always there to comfort you if ever you wake with a jolt from a nightmare. I can’t think of a hard time that didn’t result in me crying into my pillow, a bad day that wasn’t improved by a fresh change of bedding or a perfect Sunday morning that didn’t start with a heavenly lie in. And no one can dispute the ultimate moment of bliss that is turning your pillow over to the cold side.

Your bed is a refuge, but it can also be your enemy if you don’t treat it right. Countless hours can be spent tossing and turning, struggling to get comfy, staring at the ceiling in front of you. You curse the bed, blame the mattress, throw the pillow in frustration. Your bed can become a hiding place, your pillows and duvet suffocating you until you can’t get out of it and face the day.

But your bed isn’t the enemy here – you are.

When you are alone in bed, you are your only company. You can’t hide your self behind a filter, a slick text message, a conscious decision to bite your tongue, a fake smile… you have no choice but to lie there with who you truly are.

But what happens if the person you lie there with isn’t someone you like? What happens to our relationship with our bed then?

The answer is, it suffers, but beyond that, if you don’t like yourself then your relationships with everyone around you including yourself suffer. If you don’t express your opinion to your friend because you know they won’t agree, then you are never truly that persons friend. If you can’t leave the house without putting on a coat of armour then you can never be truly vulnerable enough to let anyone get close enough to know you. If you can’t look yourself in the eye then how can you expect yourself to meet anyone else’s gaze? If you can’t acknowledge your positives and not just your flaws then how can you expect anyone else to see how much you shine?

You can spend your day masking yourself and feigning that all is good, but you can’t lie to yourself forever. As soon as you are ready to go to sleep then all those thoughts you run from in the day will find you at night, where you can’t hide, in your bed where they will torment you until you are exhausted physically and mentally.

They will taunt you until you face them.

It is worth taking the leap of faith and believing in yourself. You should be your own biggest cheerleader because the only person in control of your destiny is yourself… so steer yourself to where you want to be and forget what everyone else has to say. It’s okay to have someone not agree with you, to have acne, to have cellulite, to not have 1000 followers, to be curvier than your standard size, to have issues you need to work through. It’s okay to be a little bit messy, a little bit ditzy, a little bit shy. It’s okay not to have everything figured out. It’s okay to not look picture perfect 24/7. It’s okay to be a work in progress. It’s okay to be yourself at it’s worst as well as at it’s best.

I’m not saying that everything will all turn out okay if you love yourself. There will be bad days. People won’t always agree with you. Some people won’t like you no matter how hard you try. But that is life and that is okay. You are exactly where you are meant to be right now, moving forward and in control of what happens next. You get to decide how you feel about yourself, no one else does. You get to choose if you make time for yourself, if you pursue that hobby, if that relationship is really bringing you what you need. Treat yourself like you would treat your bed. Care for yourself, look after yourself, make time to make yourself the way you want to be. And never forget that at the end of even the worst day there is always your bed to come home to, your safe haven, the place where you can lie with no one there but yourself and feel a sense of self harmony that no one can take away from you.

So turn over that pillow like you’d turn over a new page in a book, pay attention to how good it feels against your skin, inhale the scent of fresh laundry and new beginnings, then smile because you are more than enough.

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